So, if you’ve somehow found your way here… welcome.

Welcome to SEEK YOU — a space for figuring out who the hell you are now, and then having the courage to actually do something about it.

This is a space where you get to be priority one. Not because your family, career, friends or responsibilities don’t matter. They do. But somewhere along the way, many of us became exceptionally good at putting ourselves somewhere near the bottom of the list.

I’m here to question that.

I’m Kate. I’m a 40-something wife, mum of two young hurricanes and full-time worker. I’m also someone who, after decades of living, loving, learning and doing what I thought I was supposed to do, has started asking a slightly inconvenient question:

Who am I now?

And, perhaps more importantly…

What do I actually want?

Because something weirdly wonderful started happening when I turned 40.

The fog began to lift.

Not that my life was bad. Far from it. I love my life and I’m ridiculously grateful for it. But I started seeing things a little differently. I started feeling like I was allowed to advocate for myself. Like my wants mattered too. Like I didn’t need to wait until everyone else was sorted before I could start rediscovering the things that made me tick.

I started to believe that I was worth prioritising.

So I did something slightly terrifying.

I started seeking myself out.

And, honestly? It’s been one hell of a ride.

The more I talk to other women in this weird middle-aged-but-don’t-call-it-that stage of life, the more I realise how many of us are standing at similar crossroads.

Maybe you’ve spent years building a career.

Raising kids.

Supporting a partner.

Running a household.

Being the organiser, the fixer, the planner, the emotional support hotline and the person who somehow knows where everyone’s shoes are.

And then one day you look up and think…

Hang on. What about me?

Not in a dramatic burn-it-all-down kind of way.

Just in a surely there’s more to this chapter kind of way.

That’s what SEEK YOU is about.

The stories. The messy bits. The uncomfortable questions. The ridiculous adventures. The moments where we have absolutely no idea what we’re doing but decide to have a crack anyway.

And hopefully, along the way, a little nudge for anyone who needs reminding that they’re not broken, weird, behind, lost or somehow doing life wrong.

Maybe you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Which brings me to why the hell I’m writing this now.

I’ve had this idea bouncing around in my head for ages.

And, like many excellent ideas, I repeatedly talked myself out of it.

Until this week.

Over the past year, I’ve poured an enormous amount of time, energy and money into developing a software system that I genuinely believe could help people like me. The idea was simple: reduce the cognitive load of all the operational crap so there’s more time and mental energy left to actually lead well, think creatively and do the work that matters.

It was terrifying.

It was a steep learning curve.

And I bloody loved it.

I could see the potential. I could see how it might make a difference.

So I went for it.

Only to discover that launching something like this is expensive and that venture capital funding is, unsurprisingly, not exactly handed out with the morning coffee.

Then came the emails.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Again.

And again.

And then the latest one landed.

I sat on my bed staring at the ceiling, choking back my feelings, and trying very hard not to cry.

It felt crushing.

And that’s when the nasty little voice in my head started getting louder.

Maybe you’re not good enough.

Maybe this was a stupid idea.

Maybe you should just let it go.

You know that voice?

Yeah. She’s a bitch. But she can be annoyingly persuasive at times, and this was one of those times.

Then later that afternoon my phone pinged. It was a reminder about an entrepreneurs’ summit I’d signed up for weeks earlier and promptly forgotten about. (Thanks, ADHD.)

I told my husband I was thinking about pulling the pin. What was the point of going when nobody was backing my idea?

Enter Cheerleader Husband.

His response was basically: I believe in you. I think the idea is good. What have you got to lose by going?

He also correctly pointed out that I’m a giant nerd and would probably enjoy the hell out of it anyway.

Annoyingly, he was right.

So I had a choice.

I could accept the thanks, but no thanks.

I could let the idea quietly fade into the ever-growing graveyard of things I once thought I might do.

I could tell myself:

Oh well. At least I gave it a go.

But had I?

Really?

Had I actually given it everything I had?

Or had I given it 95% and then decided the other 5% was too scary? Too hard?

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth I had to face:

You can’t be 100 if you’re only giving 95.

So I sucked it up, put on my big girl pants and replied YES.

I was going to the summit.

And with the help of those pants (and a serendipitous All Time Low song that popped up on my playlist), I figured I might as well keep riding the wave of brave.

So I started this blog too.

Because maybe this is another way of backing myself.

Maybe it will keep me accountable.

Maybe it will connect me with other women who are standing at their own crossroads.

Maybe it will help someone feel a little less alone.

And maybe (just maybe!) it will remind all of us that this stage of life doesn’t have to be about quietly settling into whatever we’ve built so far.

We’re allowed to shake things up.

We’re allowed to change our minds.

We’re allowed to want more.

We’re allowed to start something ridiculously ambitious at 43.

We’re allowed to be scared shitless and do it anyway.

And we are absolutely allowed to stop waiting for permission.

So, welcome to SEEK YOU.

Let’s GTFO of our comfort zones, shake some shit up and see what happens when we stop playing small.

Because this next chapter?

I reckon it could be pretty damn epic.

And I’m stoked you’re here for it.

Time to twist the kaleidoscope and give this crazy stage of life a hundred…

Together.

Kate xo